M: Wa hahs? Wa hahs?
(hey, she could certainly ask for worse things, right?)

A: You want to wash your hands, Maya?

M: Yeah. (Then, as if it were my suggestion in the first place, rather than guessing what she was saying) Okay.

As I listen to myself talk, I realize that this is a common thread. I’ll ask her if something is what she wants. She says “yeah.” I reply “okay.”

Yes, I haven’t posted in ages…including photos from Maya’s birthday party! I’ll start catching up before long, but this was just too good to not link.

Mary P. wrote a post that I wish I’d written — about parents’ attitudes toward their children and sex.

When I was a young married with a baby girl, our daughter’s father would joke that she wouldn’t be allowed to date until she was 35. Well, 30 if the prospective boyfriend was a member of the royal family. I’d laugh at his little joke, but it always annoyed me just a bit, though I wasn’t sure why. (The fact that it was feeble and repeated waaaaay too often didn’t help, but it was the actual content of the joke which bugged me.)

Not too long ago, some commenters on a blog I was visiting were speaking of the future dates of their infant girls. A couple of the daddy-types came out with the typical Big Protective Daddy comments. “The first guy to stick anything in her,” said one, “and I’ll stick something bigger into him.” (Charming, no?)

Here’s a thought that most parents of very small children don’t really understand:

One day, you will be the parent of an adult.

Go read the rest. Really, just go read it.

Still not wanting to? Okay, then I’ll tell you what sums it up for me:

Okay, now we’re coming to the crux of this post. Why did that stupid joke, why do those ‘protective daddy’ comments exasperate me so? Because they are based upon the assumption that females are passive recipients of sex. Females have no drives of their own, they have no sexual volition. They make no choices. If they are having sex, it’s because someone required it of them.

“My daughter couldn’t actually want to indulge with her boyfriend!” these parents wail. “It must be his idea, the filthy creep.” Well, I hope for your daughter’s sake that this isn’t true. I hope that the sex she has, happens when she’s ready, that it is joyful, respectful, mutually desired and mutually satisfying.

Just like you want for yourself.

***applause***