For perhaps the third night in a row, I’ve had to leave my (our) bedroom in the middle of the night. By this time of night, we co-sleep (she joins me in bed after her first wake up then nurses off/on through the night). Lately, though, around 4am, she’s restless. Maya tosses. She rolls around. She kicks me in the stomach. She rolls around some more. She crawls toward the edge of the bed. She pulls on my hair some. She rolls some more. Through all of this, she nurses for two seconds, then stops, then starts again.

I try to hold her, and she squirms out of my arms. She wants to be close, but not held. Then she kicks me again.

After several gentle warnings of “you must settle” and “go back to sleep, please,” Maya is in her crib, bawling pitifully, as if I’m the meanest, most heartless mommy to ever live on this earth. I’ve given up and am moving to the sofa.

No wonder I’ve been exhuasted during the day lately. It’s a good thing my sofa is comfortable. We need a bigger house. Maya needs her own room somday.

Update: 7:40am. The pitiful crying not only didn’t stop, it got worse. I went back to the bedroom after perhaps 10 minutes of escalation and picked up my shivering, sad little girl — who still struggled to get away, then clung to me like superglue. She decided that nursing again might not be so bad, and went back to sleep, thank God. Of course, then she decided that it was time to get up for the day at about 6:30. Honey! It’s Sunday! Yes, we’re going hiking today, but we sleep IN on Sunday!